The latest love-search installment...

Ok, here's where we left off: FBI - date number one down, date number two pending. Sparkie - date number one and two down until it turned out he needed bigger nappies than my three year old nephew. So, I'll pick up where I left off...

FBI headed off to Canberra for work training for four weeks before we had a chance to go on date number two, and I was left to fend the singles scene again. While the channels of communication were kept wide open with occasional chats and text conversations, I felt that it was entirely appropriate for me to continue dating, but not actively.

Two weeks into FBI's Canberra jaunt, I was contacted by Gym Boy (again, still on RSVP at this point). The profile was fine, so were the photos. He ticked the boxes, without me thinking "Wow!" so being open-minded and still practicing good dating karma, I said yes to a drink one Saturday afternoon. Thinking that the successful first date with FBI was a fluke, I was keen to test out the theory that all you need to get a date, is another date. And to ensure that I hadn't dreamt I was actually getting good at this after six years...

So, London Club one Saturday afternoon after a day of apartment hunting and shopping in early September, I met Gym Boy. Turns out not only do we have plenty in common, but he was also much cuter in person than his photos gave him justice (as was FBI). One glass of wine turned into three and before I knew it we were saying good bye and making plans to catch up the following week. Ker-ching! I was officially on a dating role.

Sadly, date number two with Gym Boy had to be postponed for various conflicting scheduling issues and with FBI soon to come back from Canberra I was happy to hold off for a bit to give things with FBI a chance to progress, if they were going to.

Much to my girlish excitement, FBI contacted me the night he returned and we made plans to 'hang' on the weekend - breakfast and mini golf.

So Saturday morning rolls around as slowly as a little girl waits for Christmas Eve to be over, and I meet FBI for breakfast at Cirque, one of my favourite New Farm spots. A few coffees, serves of sweet corn cakes, fresh juice and a discussion of feature articles in The Australian later, we had caught up on the happenings of the previous four weeks, him in Canberra and me in Brisbane, amid constant teenage giggles and eye flirts. On to mini golf, and the comfortable yet goofy laughter continued. It's been a while since I was so relaxed on a date and I'm not sure what was more relieving - that I was spending time with him or that I was so comfortable in someone's company. Despite this, you can imagine my disappointment when he revealed he was being posted to the Solomon's until January - certainly not my idea of long distance dating.

Which brings me to dilemma - how was I to let him know I was disappointed without coming across too keen or too disinterested now I'd learnt he wasn't going to be in the country?! While I don't believe I have a very good poker face, I've been told in the past that I don't show enough interest. It's damned if you do and damned if you don't... and at that moment I was between and rock, and well, a bigger rock.

Without revealing too much of my thoughts on his not being in the country, we ended the date with a promise to 'chat soon' and headed out separate ways... "Why oh why does this happen when I finally meet someone great?!" I asked as I sat in my car, hands on the steering wheel and head softly banging against them (I couldn't mess up my hair). I hope to God he didn't see me sitting there.

Days later, I put my heart on my sleeve. Well, maybe my shoulder. And turns out he was willing to bare his a little too. We've swapped emails with the hope that we'll be able to continue getting to know each other as e-pals for the next few months, then see where things are in January.

In the mean time, Gym Boy and I are still friends and have been honest about where we both are in the dating scene.

Time will tell...

The latest love-search installment...

Forgive me blog readers, for I have sinned. It's been nearly a month since my last post and I have much to confess and reveal.

So, I've mentioned the internet dating experiences in a previous post and can't quite recall if I mentioned I have an active profile at the moment. I've had a few dates, all with varying degrees of success or failure, depending on how you look at it. I've dated too short, too old, too boring, too 'cool' so far.

Until I went on a date with FBI (code-name, for obvious reasons).

What started out as random, humorous interruptions to otherwise hectic days at work, turned into an invitation for a catch up one Sunday afternoon. After timing issues, it ended up being Sunday evening dessert at Freestyle (one of my favourite date places - who doesn't love dessert?!).

In the past I've struggled to get my happy-go-lucky phone personality to translate into a similar face-to-face persona, and generally end up getting a big case of the nerves which results in me botching up the end of a date (something else I'm sure I've mentioned in a previous post). Also, I've battled with experiencing the chemistry I have had on the phone with some guys into real-life sparks. So needless to say, I rarely get past a first date.

However, I digress. Back to FBI. Great guy, great conversation and great ending - I actually managed to say "Thanks for tonight, I had a great time and would love to see you again..." to which I got the reply I'd been hoping for "Yeah, I'd like that...". Hooray!

Since date number 1, FBI has had to leave town for work and comes back next week. Date number 2 is pending. Before he left we talked about horse riding - he's keen to learn how to ride like Hugh Jackman!

Also since FBI, I've been on a date with Sparkie (again, code-name). In a nutshell, great first date but number 2 just went awary. Things didn't really go his way, which brought out his true colours - the guy can throw a tantrum to rival my three year old nephew. Don't get me wrong, I love kids. But I'm looking for a relationship with an adult. Who doesn't stomp his feet when someone takes his truck out of the sandpit.

If you're wondering what I'm doing dating two guys at once - stay tuned for a post on Australia's lack of dating culture. I know many of my girlfriends lament this with me, so I'm keen to hear your thoughts on that one.

I hope the update has whetted your appetite for more stories. I'm on a bit of a role tonight...

Dating: online and offline

I have a confession to make. Hi, I'm Me and I'm an online dating tragic.

There, I've said it. Oh I feel so much better. I've actually been on and off (line that is) since about January 2004, and yet to no avail. But I refuse to give in. Or up. If the Internet can find pretty much anything you want or need these days, why can't it find me what I want or need in a significant other? Hmm?

My experienced has been mixed. Now, I'm fully aware that I myself am not everyone's cup of tea but I think I do ok, both on the outside and the inside. My friends (bless them) think I'm a catch which actually doesn't help. I'm constantly starting to wonder why, if I'm such a good catch, am I still single? I think that may be a topic for later...

Back to the experience part. I've tried a few different sites and have come to the realisation that the ratio of good to bad is about the same online as it is offline. Which would make sense when you think about it really. Well, it does to me.

So I'm currently online. I rejoined for the umpteenth time just after my birthday this year, so that's about 12 weeks ago now. I've been on four dates, all lovely guys, however there was just no 'spark'. So none progressed to date number two.

I have had conversations with about a dozen, but for whatever reason they didn't develop into anything more. In some cases I was relieved (David Beckham syndrome comes to mind here) and in some cases I was just plain baffled as to why they didn't extend a casual invitation to share a beverage of preference at a time that was mutually agreeable. Maybe because I write like this?! No, in all seriousness I'm not sure what happened.

I like to think that I'm putting some good dating karma out there - being open, available (but not too available) and often even throwing caution to the wind and saying yes to someone I wouldn't normally say yes to, on the theory that clearly it hasn't worked out with guys I would normally say yes to so maybe I need to broaden my horizons.

When it comes to the actual date part, I perform ok. Like a job interview - witty when required, knowledgeable, a good listener, asks the right questions and maintains eye contact. And pretty much every time I've gone for a job interview I've been offered the job. But when it comes to dating I can't seem to 'close the deal'. I totally fall to pieces, get a case of the nerves, aren't sure whether to say what I'm thinking (either "We should do this again sometime soon..." or "It was really nice meeting you, all the best in finding the love of your life...") and probably end up giving all the wrong vibes. Ok not probably, I do. The ones that think I go all weird because I'm not interested I am actually interested in, and vice versa. Disaster.

Another thing I've learnt over these past years is that men are more idealistic than women. There! Put that in your love bong and smoke it! Not only am I starting to discover that a man's expectations of meeting someone for the first time are way beyond a woman's and in another stratosphere, but even if there is a shred of potential there they won't even bother pursuing a friendship. Now, I thought I was picky and hard to please but I've got nothing on some blokes. So much for the theory that great loves can blossom from friendship. Pah! Friendship in this case isn't even given a second thought. And then I'm crossing into a whole other topic "Can men and women ever be friends?"...

Are you starting to wonder about the offline dating yet? Yes? Ok. That's because I can count on one hand, no make that two fingers, how many guys have asked me out in the past five years that I haven't met online. Thinking about that now should make me the perfect candidate for therapy (seriously, what's wrong with me?!), but alas I allow myself to hide behind the excuse that men, in general, find me intimidating. Well, at least that's what my very kind and very patient friends tell me. Apparently men are afraid of rejection - who'd a thunk it? And not only that, but a woman who knows who she is, what she wants and which way she's going in life is intimidating and being rejected by that is enough to crush a manly ego forever. Or at least 'til the next easy target comes along.

And so, my quest for love continues. And my determination to define it.

I may, one of these days, even share some dating stories... there are some doozies!