Friday, July 31, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
I popped into Myer today on a quick reconnaissance mission to find something to wear to an event tonight.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
I have a confession to make. Hi, I'm Me and I'm an online dating tragic.
There, I've said it. Oh I feel so much better. I've actually been on and off (line that is) since about January 2004, and yet to no avail. But I refuse to give in. Or up. If the Internet can find pretty much anything you want or need these days, why can't it find me what I want or need in a significant other? Hmm?
My experienced has been mixed. Now, I'm fully aware that I myself am not everyone's cup of tea but I think I do ok, both on the outside and the inside. My friends (bless them) think I'm a catch which actually doesn't help. I'm constantly starting to wonder why, if I'm such a good catch, am I still single? I think that may be a topic for later...
Back to the experience part. I've tried a few different sites and have come to the realisation that the ratio of good to bad is about the same online as it is offline. Which would make sense when you think about it really. Well, it does to me.
So I'm currently online. I rejoined for the umpteenth time just after my birthday this year, so that's about 12 weeks ago now. I've been on four dates, all lovely guys, however there was just no 'spark'. So none progressed to date number two.
I have had conversations with about a dozen, but for whatever reason they didn't develop into anything more. In some cases I was relieved (David Beckham syndrome comes to mind here) and in some cases I was just plain baffled as to why they didn't extend a casual invitation to share a beverage of preference at a time that was mutually agreeable. Maybe because I write like this?! No, in all seriousness I'm not sure what happened.
I like to think that I'm putting some good dating karma out there - being open, available (but not too available) and often even throwing caution to the wind and saying yes to someone I wouldn't normally say yes to, on the theory that clearly it hasn't worked out with guys I would normally say yes to so maybe I need to broaden my horizons.
When it comes to the actual date part, I perform ok. Like a job interview - witty when required, knowledgeable, a good listener, asks the right questions and maintains eye contact. And pretty much every time I've gone for a job interview I've been offered the job. But when it comes to dating I can't seem to 'close the deal'. I totally fall to pieces, get a case of the nerves, aren't sure whether to say what I'm thinking (either "We should do this again sometime soon..." or "It was really nice meeting you, all the best in finding the love of your life...") and probably end up giving all the wrong vibes. Ok not probably, I do. The ones that think I go all weird because I'm not interested I am actually interested in, and vice versa. Disaster.
Another thing I've learnt over these past years is that men are more idealistic than women. There! Put that in your love bong and smoke it! Not only am I starting to discover that a man's expectations of meeting someone for the first time are way beyond a woman's and in another stratosphere, but even if there is a shred of potential there they won't even bother pursuing a friendship. Now, I thought I was picky and hard to please but I've got nothing on some blokes. So much for the theory that great loves can blossom from friendship. Pah! Friendship in this case isn't even given a second thought. And then I'm crossing into a whole other topic "Can men and women ever be friends?"...
Are you starting to wonder about the offline dating yet? Yes? Ok. That's because I can count on one hand, no make that two fingers, how many guys have asked me out in the past five years that I haven't met online. Thinking about that now should make me the perfect candidate for therapy (seriously, what's wrong with me?!), but alas I allow myself to hide behind the excuse that men, in general, find me intimidating. Well, at least that's what my very kind and very patient friends tell me. Apparently men are afraid of rejection - who'd a thunk it? And not only that, but a woman who knows who she is, what she wants and which way she's going in life is intimidating and being rejected by that is enough to crush a manly ego forever. Or at least 'til the next easy target comes along.
And so, my quest for love continues. And my determination to define it.
I may, one of these days, even share some dating stories... there are some doozies!
Friday, July 24, 2009
- My family and my extended families: God knows there's a million of them.
- My other family: my friends, the family that you choose who make my life so wonderful.
- Clear blue skies on a crisp winter's day.
- Memories of my beautiful golden retriever who succumbed suddenly to cancer this week aged 11.
- The essence of brands and what makes them attractive to some, yet not to others.
- Wine - I don't discriminate on colour, age or external aesthetics.
- A big, booming power ballad belted out by the beauties of music (currently into Beyonce, Jordin Sparks, Delta Goodrem, Jessica Mauboy, Lily Allen, Mariah Carey) and rolling down the windows of my car and opening my lungs...
- A smile, a hug. Any display of genuine affection, really. Kindness is very underrated.
- Twitter. Yup I love it, it's my thing, leave me alone.
- Being successful and not apologising for it or making any concessions.
According to Wiki, LOVE is any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection and attachment. The word LOVE can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes. Its diversity of uses and meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes LOVE unusually difficult to consistently define.
This blog is about LOVE. My quest for it in all forms - from personal to professional, internal to external, high to low, deep to shallow, bright to dark, past to future. And to find the answer to the age old adage - does LOVE really conquer all?
Your LOVE warrior,